ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
