he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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