During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
