I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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