we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
