Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize