I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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