i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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