It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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