when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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