he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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