My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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