been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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