Plan B is the new Plan A
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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