you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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