I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
