I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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