I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My hand turned me down
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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