Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
