Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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