I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
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