ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
