I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
