Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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