I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How does one acquire holy water?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
