Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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