ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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