i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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