after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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