is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
