At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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