what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
