I didn't shave. On purpose
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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