normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
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Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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