i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
