If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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