My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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