They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
