the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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