so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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