Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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