This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
