i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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