Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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