Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
