hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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