That's intense
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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