And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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