Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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