So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
