Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know her cup size but not her name....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
