I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
