I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
