Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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