I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
