I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
