Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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