it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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