Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
