hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
