she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
