we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice