So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"