dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
being pregnant is like rehab
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said