She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
