So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
